Why I am Pro-Life and Pro-Choice

Can I just be really honest with you all?  I am terrified to write my thoughts on and surrounding the topic of abortion.  I have actually wanted to write them out for months now.  I suppose that on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, I have found the courage to do so.

Being a man, I can see the outrage that this post might bring.  I can see the hateful comments that I might have to endure and statements like “you’re not a woman, how could you ever understand” being said.  Well ladies, you are correct, I will never be a woman.  I cannot fully understand how a woman thinks or what being pregnant is like.  However, what I am able to do is share my feelings and state my opinion on a topic that does not only affect women, but all human beings.  I am a man who is learning increasingly more from God that life is precious. All human beings, both women and men, are special and valued.  I view this topic as a human’s rights issue, not a women’s rights issue.

I view pregnancy as a gift and a privilege.  Pregnancy is a gift because you women are the only beautiful one’s who actually get the privilege of sustaining and delivering human life into this world.  Ladies, if it weren’t for your unique ability, the human race would be extinct.  My reason for speaking up is brought on by the anguish and pain I experience from this issue; how can so many of us accept this damaging mindset in which we casually discard how amazing conception is, how extraordinary pregnancy is, how precious giving birth is, and how valuable life is?  Life is a beautiful miracle, just watch a documentary about conception.  Is it comfortable all the time or convenient to have a baby; no it isn’t.  Yes, it is painful, and no, I do not totally understand exactly how painful it can at times be, but I do know that more often than not, this common phrase holds to be true; “no pain, no gain”.  Not to minimize how difficult pregnancies can be; but when it comes to enjoying many of the joys we experience in life, it takes great struggle, pain, and sacrifice.  If you want that chiseled body, it’s going to take lots of painful body sculpting workouts.  If you want to start a thriving company, you better believe it’s going to take a lot of personal sacrifice and hard work.  If you want to graduate from college, you will have to take the time to study and possibly struggle through all the tests and papers to get that degree.  If you want the joys of having children, you better believe it is going to, at times, be painful, a struggle, and require self-sacrifice.  Yet, having children can be so rewarding and often bring us some of the deepest joys in life.  I know that isn’t exactly on topic, but my point is, whether or not you in fact do want children, we need to be prepared and accountable for the actions that lead to bearing a child while accepting and expecting the possible results of those actions.  The important focus to understand is that these consequences involve human life, and more than just the consummating parties’ lives.  We cannot perceive the resulting outcome as anything less than precious and beautiful; regardless of how the action is played out.

 

Let’s talk about this action and the resulting consequence.  In a VERY simplistic description, you bring a child into this world by having sex, becoming pregnant, and giving birth after 9 months or so.  So what extremely cheap way (actually it’s free) can you not have a child?  Simply don’t get pregnant.  How do you not get pregnant?  You abstain from sex!  It’s that simple.  Now, in no way am I trying to act “holier than though”.  Most of my adult life, I have failed miserably in this department.  I wasn’t really taught about abstinence and its importance, I was taught how to use a condom.  I wasn’t taught about the emotional, physical, chemical, and spiritual connection that happens when two people join together in sexual intimacy.  I wasn’t taught that virginity was something sacred; something to be cherished.  This isn’t to blame anyone, but rather to point out that we, society as a whole, tend to do a REALLY poor job of teaching our youth the whole truth about sex.  Purity isn’t something to be scoffed at; it is something to be proud of.  Virginity should NEVER be a goal of young men or women to take from each other.  Men and women alike should NOT be applauded for their sexual conquests.  Why you might ask?  I now confidently stand up for abstinence because of every brokenhearted boy or girl out there.  I speak out for the millions of innocent lives aborted before they ever had a chance to be lived out.  I am speaking up for the men or women who have suffered from wondering who their biological parents are and questioning why they didn’t keep them.  I am standing up for the mothers and fathers who have had to make these heart-wrenching decisions.  I am standing up for each man or woman who gave themselves away in the false belief that it would keep someone around or fulfill them.  I stand up for abstinence, this lost habitude of preservation, because of the many tears I have shed by my foolish choices and for the many tears I have caused others by those same foolish choices.

My heart breaks for each aborted human being.  My heart breaks for each mother who chooses this painful act.  My heart breaks for the underlying cause of abortion, an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy.  My heart breaks because we live in a society, a world, that is progressively teaching us the unhealthy view that sex is something to be marketed, used for our own selfish pleasure (no matter who it hurts, including oneself), and seen as something more trivial than special.

Many of you may not know this, but Jane Roe’s actual name is Norma Leah McCorvey.  Norma’s story is a very sad one.  Norma was a very troubled girl who endured an extremely terrible childhood.  She was raised by a violent alcoholic mother and her father left their family when she was a young teen.  She was placed in boarding schools and a reform school.  She was raped by a woman at one of these schools and later also by a man, her mother’s cousin… Without going into more detail, she was a very hurt girl. It’s been said and observed that, “hurting people; hurt people”.  It is quite commonplace in many psychological observances that people who are indeed hurting, tend to hurt others; including themselves.  McCorvey herself revealed that she sought an abortion because she was unemployable and greatly depressed.  The sad truth is that this young 21-year old girl was just looking for “a way out” of her own pain and wrongfully assumed aborting her third pregnancy would solve that problem.  Norma didn’t even end up having an abortion and has said herself that she believes she was the "pawn" of those two young and ambitious lawyers; Linda Coffee and Sarah Weddington.  Norma actually has stated that she regrets the role she played in this negative change in our society; admitting she was a very confused young woman.  Norma is now fighting for the civil liberties of unborn babies and has been since the late 1990s.

It is in my observation, that Roe v. Wade had nothing to do with cherishing women or protecting them; it rather had more to do with two young lawyers wanting to use a controversial issue to further their own prominence in this countries legal system; mistakenly thinking that they were standing up for women’s rights by simply being women who won a significant court case involving women.  They were only partially correct, as the women’s rights movement began in order to provide equal opportunities to women in all aspects of life, including education, employment, and government representation.  However, they were horribly wrong by assuming that fighting for the equality of women in society could be associated, even in the slightest, with the inhumane practice of abortion.

 

The definition of being humane is “characterized by tenderness, compassion, and sympathy for people and animals”.  The very word, humane has the word “human” in it.  What blows my mind is that we have federal laws that protect the unborn babies of turtles, birds, and other animals, yet we actually have the audacity to create and support laws that kill human babies?!  Do not try to argue with me and tell me that a fetus is just a bunch of cells; guess what, SO ARE YOU!  The only difference between you and a fetus is that you are in different stages of human development.  The fetus, an unborn baby, is a child; he or she is a developing person, not just some lump of protoplasm.  I do not need my religious beliefs to convict me that a fetus is in fact alive and in the very earlier stages of a human being, science has already deemed a scientific law that proves this.  The law of biogenesis is “the observation that living things come only from other living things, by reproduction”.  Your eggs are alive in you and so is the sperm that penetrates it.  They are two halves of what it takes to make a human; the second they join together, that is the moment a living human being is created.  Not only that, but abortions go directly against the original Greek Hippocratic Oath that many physicians swear to uphold before practicing medicine; where it clearly is translated to stating: “I will give no deadly medicine to anyone if asked, nor suggest any such counsel; and similarly I will not give a woman a destructive pessary to cause an abortion.”  A pessary is any medical device inserted into a woman’s vagina.  This was/is a rule of doctors to protect unborn children and their mothers.  It makes my blood boil that we stamp the label of women’s rights on something as unrighteous as abortion.  Abortions have killed over 50 MILLION human beings alone in America; talk about genocide… and this is actually legal?!  Abortions not only sever unborn human life, they also hurt women physically and emotionally!  Women’s rights should be there to protect women, not hurt them.  The only thing “the right” to abort a pregnancy defends, are the ones living “unpunished” with the magnitude that quite literally is killing a human being; which most likely was the result of someone’s selfish act to seek pleasure without the desire to be responsible for the consequences of those actions.  Candidly speaking, it can be used as a jail-free card that allows people to have sex without any of the resulting concerns; the right to abort, which is sometimes used like a contraceptive, merely “protects” irresponsible people; allowing them to continue being selfish with their sexuality; whether that be a man or a woman.  There is no gender to blame here; both men and women are equally responsible for abortions; a baby cannot be created absent of one or the other.  I recognize that what I said may sound harsh, yet what I described as being selfish is exactly what the definition states; “a person, action, or motive lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure”.  I speak so strongly on the issue, not simply because of what I have learned from reading The Bible or learned from scientific or psychological studies regarding sex, I do so because I have lived out the opposite of what I am suggesting.  I have seen the pain I have caused others with my selfishness and I have felt that pain myself.  You can call me a hypocrite if you like, but it won’t stop me from changing and believing that the way I lived in the past was not the right way.  I now actively live out abstinence as I wait to marry my wife.  Although it’s not easy, it is much less painful and totally worth the little sacrifices I make.  I honor myself and any woman I date.  We all need to stop twisting the truth for personal gain, confusing what is right and wrong in our society, and making excuses for the consequences we try to avoid as a result of our self-centered actions and desires.

The topic of abortion shouldn’t even be a discussion because of the great cost abortion takes; a human life.  How is that not appalling to us all?!  You might say, “well, what about incest and rape?”  Those are both TERRIBLE things to have to endure.  It brings me great pain to think about each horrid action, more so than you readers can understand; yet NEITHER are viable excuses or justifications to have an abortion; not morally or ethically.  Yes, the mother or father did not ask to be abused in such a manner, yet neither did the resulting child ask to be created from it.  Abortion does not solve the problems of incest, unwanted pregnancy, and rape; in fact, it is a severely devastating and ineffective way to combat these horrible acts.  What can make a difference is accurate education about sex, a paradigm shift on how we view sex, and proper moral teaching on how we need to treat each other as fellow human beings; regardless of gender, age, race, religion, or social class. 

The organization, Feminists for Life, states; “Abortion hurts women, kills children and destroys families”; I couldn’t agree more.  Ladies and Gentlemen, whether you choose to believe the truth that each fetus is indeed human, worthy of protection at the point of conception, or not, I implore to you all; please terminate this dishonorable fight for the right to abort babies.  There is nothing admirable about a fight that creates ‘fairness’ by injustice.

“Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.” - Voltaire

As stated in the title, I am both “pro-life” and “pro-choice”.

Why I am “Pro-Life”:

·                       I am for the worldwide understanding that each and every human life is valuable and to be cherished, regardless of how it was conceived.

Why I am “Pro-Choice”:

·                       I am for choosing to educate our young men and women on the many dangers, both physically and emotionally, that are caused by abortions.

·                       I am for choosing to teach men and women, the very Biblical standpoint, that women are equal to men.  That Eve was created second out of Adam’s rib, not because she is any less important, but to show us that women are literally a part of men and should be treated as such; with the utmost care.

·                       I am for choosing to teach our boys and girls to protect themselves and their bodies; that being a virgin is something to hold onto and be proud of; not their sexual prowess.  We are sexual creatures, yet it is not in our sexual desires that make us strong or powerful people, it is in our learned ability to purely love and cherish one another.

·                       I am for choosing to teach our boys and girls that they are loved, valued, and important.  That they are not sexual objects.  That man and woman are the two most treasured parts of God’s beautiful creation; both being designed in His image.

·                       I am for choosing to teach both our boys and girls that although, in some ways, we are clearly different, none of these differences make either gender weaker or less important.  In fact, our inherent gender differences compliment each other almost perfectly.

·                       I am for choosing life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness; when it doesn’t cause another human being harm, danger, or death.

I cannot claim that I have always felt this way or acted as I should have.  I have cried many tears for the mistakes of my past and have done a lot of soul-searching these past two and half years.  I have and continue to grow as a man and human being.  God has this marvelous way of transforming lives and changing people for the better; He has and continues to do so in mine.  The Bible is actually filled with many troubled and hurting people: Jacob was a liar, Joseph was abused, Moses was a murderer, Rahab was a prostitute, David had an affair and was an accomplice to murder, Jonah ran from God and thought he was better than a whole city of people… all who chose to change their hearts with God; all of whom were changed for the better.  Shoot, Norma McCorvey is a great example herself.

My intentions for writing this are not out of judgment or anger towards anyone; women or men.  If anything, I am actually mad at the men, including myself, who have allowed themselves and society to devalue women; which has thus resulted in the telling signs we see today where some women devalue men.  It’s an ugly cycle that we all need to break free from.  Both men and women are unique and equally valuable.  I honestly believe that there should’ve never been a women’s suffrage or a women’s rights movement only because there should NEVER have been the need for one.  I wrote about abortion not just to enlighten our viewpoints on the matter, but also to expose its ugly culprit; irresponsible and egocentric sex.  I wrote my views on the topic with the hopes of speaking some truth and shedding some light on how it should not and cannot be acceptable for us to choose to kill human beings; regardless of the reason or ones developmental stage.  I believe that we have great opportunities in life, even responsibilities, to show love and exhibit compassion; even after the most horrific of acts.  Saving innocent lives rather than aborting them should be one of these events.  You may think that you do not have a choice, but you do.  You always have a choice.  Choose life.  Choose Love.

“The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction, is the first and only object of good government.” - Thomas Jefferson

“The world is very different now. For man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty, and all forms of human life” - John F. Kennedy

“There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul than the way in which it treats its children.” - Nelson Mandela

“If you truly believe in the value of life, you care about all of the weakest and most vulnerable members of society.” - Joni Eareckson Tada

I challenge each of you, including myself, to live a life of purity; to see each other as valued equals in society as well as in life; and to protect one another through acts of selfless love.

Love,

-Matthew

p.s. during my research, I discovered the book Won by Love by Norma McCorvey.  It is a book I plan on reading myself and if any of you are also more curious about her story, you should check it out too.

=)